Toxic parents are abusive, emotionally destructive, and result in poor unstable kids. These tips will help you with non-toxic parenting.

 

Toxic parents are not rare. Yes, all across the world you find toxic parents and that’s just sad. Most of these toxic parents themselves have has abusive childhood or a toxic parent and this they have just carried forward in their own lives – often without realizing it.

 

If you have had a toxic parent – stop and asses – is it right to put your child through that?

 

Keep your parenting journey healthy and safe and definitely non-toxic. Non- toxic parenting is beneficial both for the kid and you.

 

You don’t want your child to grow up hating you. It will end up in them getting estranged from you later in life – the moment they turn adults or worse when they turn teens!

 

No parent is perfect, we are all humans, and we all make mistakes. But being abusive to your child or being a toxic parent is not an option.

 

Here are few tips with which one can realize if they are toxic parents and then correct themselves.

 

 

Don’t be a Toxic Parent – Do’s and Don’ts of non-Toxic parenting

Don’t label your child to hide your parenting flaws

 

Admit your own mistakes. If you have parenting flaws it’s your mistake not your child’s. Don’t label your child as ‘monster’, ‘spoilt’, ‘unruly’ if you don’t know how to manage kids.

 

It is even worse if you keep blaming your spouse if your kids are acting up. “It’s because of you he is like this” – if you are saying this constantly you are being a toxic parent. Stop immediately.

 

There’s a difference between criticizing and correcting

 

It is always good to correct your child’s behaviour if that’s inappropriate but criticizing the child for everything is going to do no good. Be a guide to your child not a critic. No one is born with everything learnt. Kids need to see to learn. What you show them is what you learn.

 

SO don’t say words like “look at your brother, he’s never behaved like this, learn something from him”. You will only end up igniting sense of jealousy, insecurity and rivalry.

 

Do not Abuse Physically

Hitting a child, abusing physically is not an answer to anything. In many cultures spanking, hitting is normal and a regular practice – it is ultimately not good for your child’s emotional health.

 

Make changes in your own temperament. Learn to control your impulse. You can always discipline a child without hitting or being a toxic parent!

 

Healthy conflict resolution

Children from dysfunctional families grow up to have their own dysfunctional families. Model healthy conflict resolution with your spouse in front of children to set examples.

So don’t be a toxic parent to your child. Non-toxic parenting is healthy and safe. It will raise confident healthy kids.

I am sharing Parenting hacks for Millennial Moms on this Season of A to Z Challenge. Adding the post links as I post them.
A – Amazing Moms
B-Boys -What Boys Need from their moms
C –  How to be a calm mom
D – Discipline kids without yelling
E – Raising Emotionally healthy Kids
F – French Parenting Tips
G – Gentle Parenting
I – Indian values to instill in your child
J – Jar of Positivity 
K – Know your kids through fun questions
L – Life Hacks & Parenting Tips for moms
M – Mom self-care routine that is quick
N – Newborn hacks for New moms
O – Don’t be the Obsessive Mom
P – Positive Phrases to getting your kids to listen
Q – Quick guide to diaper bag essentials
R – Raising Resilient Kids
S – Single mom

Raising resilient kids is a big responsibility for any parent. These tips will help you bring up resilient kids.

As parents, most of us spend so much time trying to protect our children from disappointment, failure, sadness, and stress. But somewhere along the way, we also realise that resilience is not built by avoiding difficult moments altogether. It grows slowly through everyday experiences, emotional support, and learning how to cope when things don’t go perfectly.

In today’s fast-moving world, raising emotionally resilient kids feels more important than ever. Resiliency is a big personality attribute you want your kids to develop. Resilience is an attribute that your child will need to face all the challenges of life.

But kids don’t automatically know how to become resilient, especially when they face challenging situations, as burdens; we want to make everything easy for them. However, that doesn’t prepare them for the challenges of life.

Sometimes it is okay to help your child, but you have to let them do their work and let them make their own decisions. For example, when your child is taking too long to eat, don’t jump to feed him. Let him learn to eat on his own – even if it feels hard.

Raising resilient kids is important for their own good. You won’t be there forever for your child. Making themselves self-sufficient and resilient will make sure they will be able to face and overcome the challenges of life.

As a mom, I’ve realized that resilience is not something we can teach through one lecture or parenting rule. It is built gently over time through connection, emotional safety, boundaries, routines, and the way we respond to our children on hard days.

Here are some practical and emotionally healthy ways to help raise resilient kids in a stressful world.

What Does It Mean to Raise a Resilient Child?

Resilient children are not fearless children. They still cry, feel upset, get frustrated, and struggle sometimes. The difference is that they slowly learn how to bounce back, process emotions in healthy ways, and trust themselves through difficult moments.

Resilience simply means developing the ability to recover, adapt, and move forward after difficult experiences.

Emotionally resilient kids are often better able to:

• manage stress
• express feelings openly
• cope with failure
• solve small problems independently
• adapt to changes
• recover after setbacks
• build confidence gradually

Resilience is not about “toughening kids up.” It is about helping them feel emotionally supported enough to handle life’s challenges with confidence over time.

Why Emotional Resilience Matters More Than Ever

Children today are growing up in a very different emotional environment than many of us experienced as kids. My son is 10 now, his childhood is way different from what I had or what his older cousins have had.

There is:

• more screen time (it is so inevitable!)
• more academic competition
• more overstimulation
• less boredom
• more social comparison
• more emotional pressure

Have you noticed the pressure on kids these days? Everyone wants their child to be perfect – prefect in studies, perfect in sports, perfect in art, music, dance, drama and the list goes on! With more competition, the expectations are also above the ceiling!

Many children also struggle with:

• perfectionism
• fear of failure
• anxiety
• emotional overwhelm
• frustration tolerance

This is why emotional resilience matters so much now. Children who learn healthy coping skills early often find it easier to navigate friendships, school stress, disappointments, and emotional challenges later in life.

I have been very particular about certain things in my parenting journey. Not comparing Bluey to anyone – not in my head and never in any conversation near him. Something I have always refrained from is – helicopter parenting! Jumping into a kid’s fight in a park, telling him/her, ‘no, don’t play with him/her,’ is a big red flag for me. When Bluey’s class teacher says at a PTM, he is the one to sort out fights between other kids – I know I have passed!

Signs of an Emotionally Resilient Child

If you spot these qualities in a child, you know you have met a resilient kid.

Every child is different, but emotionally resilient children often:

• recover more easily after disappointment
• communicate feelings openly
• try again after mistakes
• handle small frustrations better
• adapt more easily to changes
• show problem-solving skills
• ask for help when needed
• feel emotionally safe expressing emotions

Resilience does not mean children stay calm all the time. Even resilient kids have emotional meltdowns and difficult days.

Practical Ways to Raise Emotionally Resilient Kids

I have been on a path to raising an emotionally resilient child. Ups and downs are parts of life and teaching children to deal with different emotions and process these emotions will eventually help them in life. Let me share with you a few practical ways to raise emotionally resilient kids.

Teach Children to Name Their Feelings

One of the most helpful emotional skills children can learn is simply identifying their emotions.

Instead of dismissing feelings with:

• “Don’t cry”
• “You’re fine”
• “It’s not a big deal”

Try helping children put emotions into words.

For example:

• “You seem disappointed.”
• “That must have felt frustrating.”
• “Are you feeling nervous about tomorrow?”

When children understand their emotions, they slowly learn how to regulate them better.

Let Kids Solve Small Problems

As parents, it’s natural to want to fix everything quickly. But resilience grows when children get opportunities to work through age-appropriate challenges independently.

This could mean:

• resolving a small disagreement
• figuring out homework problems
• organizing school supplies
• managing forgotten items occasionally

Children build confidence when they realize:
“I can handle difficult situations.”

Let them make mistakes

As a parent, don’t feel embarrassed if your child makes a mistake. Let him learn from that mistake. Raising resilient kids also means you let them explore and learn from their mistakes.

If you look back, you probably have learned more from your own mistakes than from a book. But, of course, ensure their safety.

Many children today feel intense pressure to perform perfectly.

But emotionally strong kids understand that mistakes are a normal part of learning.

Talk openly about:

• your own mistakes
• lessons learned from failure
• trying again after setbacks

Children need to know that failure is not something shameful.

Help Kids develop coping skills

What the schools don’t teach kids is coping skills with failure. A child goes through a plethora of emotions – good bad ugly feelings. It is always good to let your child share his emotions. Teach kids to develop coping skills.

Talk to them, calm them down. Teach them deep breathing. Let them know you are there. This will help them later on in their lives.

Let them get bored

What we don’t realize while putting kids in a score of extracurricular activities is we are not giving them free time! Free time, free play is very important to let the creativity flow. Sometimes it is necessary to be without toys, books, gadgets and just be free even if you get bored.

When they get bored and have nothing to do – imagination comes into play. Nurture that.

Model Calm Behaviour

Children absorb emotional responses from adults constantly.

If we react to stress with panic, shouting, or emotional overwhelm all the time, children often mirror those responses.

This doesn’t mean parents must stay perfectly calm every moment. That’s unrealistic.

But practicing calmer responses, emotional repair, and healthy coping skills teaches children valuable emotional regulation.

This is also why becoming a calmer parent can positively influence a child’s emotional resilience over time.

Encourage Independence

Simple independence builds confidence.

Let children:

• make small choices
• complete simple responsibilities
• help with routines
• participate in problem-solving

Confidence grows through participation, not overprotection.

Praise Effort Instead of Perfection

Instead of focusing only on results, praise:

• effort
• persistence
• creativity
• problem-solving
• emotional courage

For example:

• “I’m proud of how hard you worked.”
• “You kept trying even when it felt difficult.”

This helps children develop a growth mindset instead of fear of failure.

Create Emotional Safety at Home

Children become emotionally stronger when home feels emotionally safe.

This means:

• listening without constant judgment
• allowing emotions
• offering reassurance
• validating difficult feelings
• maintaining healthy boundaries

Children who feel emotionally secure often become more confident handling stress outside the home too.

What Parents Should Avoid

WIth changing times, parenting styles have become very different. Have you noticed, how over protective parents are today? I am also protective about my son, but trying to help in every step – will harm him more than protecting!

Let me share an incident. Bluey

Sometimes resilience is unintentionally weakened when children are:

• overprotected from every discomfort
• constantly rescued from consequences
• pressured to be perfect
• emotionally dismissed
• compared to others frequently

Children do not need perfect parents. They need emotionally present and supportive ones.

Raising resilient kids is an important duty for a parent. Don’t overlook that.

I am sharing Parenting hacks for Millennial Moms on this Season of A to Z Challenge. Adding the post links as I post them.
A – Amazing Moms
B-Boys -What Boys Need from their moms
C –  How to be a calm mom
D – Discipline kids without yelling
E – Raising Emotionally healthy Kids
F – French Parenting Tips
G – Gentle Parenting
I – Indian values to instill in your child
J – Jar of Positivity 
K – Know your kids through fun questions
L – Life Hacks & Parenting Tips for moms
M – Mom self-care routine that is quick
N – Newborn hacks for New moms
O – Don’t be the Obsessive Mom
P – Positive Phrases to getting your kids to listen
Q – Quick guide to diaper bag essentials