Encourage questioning skills in kids. The ‘whys’, ‘whats’ and ‘hows’ will eventually help in their cognitive development. In other words, if you want smarter kids, let them ask questions. #FeedIQ

Do you have a pre-schooler or a ‘threenager’ who keeps asking you “what is that” for everything? Does your toddler baffle you with all the ‘whys’, ‘whats’ and ‘hows’ everyday? Don’t get too worked up on it, these questions can have a deeper effect in the long run – you could be raising a smarter kid, actually. Encourage questioning skills in kids – the more they ask, the more they think, the better is the cognitive development. Yes, as a mom you have to be a friend who can and ‘is willing’ to answer his questions.  You are in fact, helping in building a good IQ in your kid. Question and answers are one of the best ways to #FeedIQ.

What is Cognitive Development?

Every time you come across this term ‘cognitive development’ you must be wondering – what is it and why is it a big milestone for a child. Cognitive Development in kids is in fact, the construction of thought process. It includes factors like inquisitiveness, perception, remembering, decision making, and problem solving. In other words – it is one of the most important development that you want to see in your child which will help him throughout the life.

Should you wait for a certain age for stimulating cognitive development?

It might sound strange, but even newborns can be stimulated for cognitive development. Many newborns can distinguish the mothers voice from all other sounds around him. The more you interact, play, sing with the baby they develop better perception.

But you can interact with your baby better when they start picking up a language and talk to you. Kids are inquisitive in nature, they want to find out what’s there around him, what’s happening in the house and can even throw random questions like ‘why is the sun yellow’, or ‘why do you need to sleep’. As long as these questions are coming it’s all good.

Why you should encourage questioning skills in kids?

My son, who’s going to be three later this month is in that phase of asking questions all the time. We have this thing in the house where we encourage to ask questions – any questions, any amount of time – ask to your hearts will. Why do I do this? I had a lot of questions as a kid. While my dad was patient with them, my mom often asked to stop talking so much! That’s something that didn’t go down too well with me and at one point of time I thought the friends at school were better to ask questions. But no, it’s better you get all your answers from the person you consider your guide – which were my parents, in my case.

I have noticed, my son has started reasoning and comparing at this tender age. He’s able to say, ‘I can’t sit on the floor because its dirty’, when he has spilled some water. He even tests me by asking ‘what does a duck do’ (asking about the sounds) and if I happen to say it wrong, to test him, he corrects me with “no a duck does not do cluck cluck, a duck does quack quack”.

Asking questions and getting those answers form the crux of complex mind processes like critical thinking, reasoning, logic building. It even helps communication skills and social skills. So keep the questions coming.

Role of a mom in promoting your child’s cognitive development? #FeedIQ

A mother is often the most important caregiver, teacher and facilitator in a kid’s life. A kid trusts his mother blindly – what you will say will form the foundation of his thought process. Moms play an important role in enhancing a baby’s cognitive development. The more a mother interacts with her baby, since infancy, the more rapid is their development. But don’t jump into helping your kid in his critical thinking or decision making at the first go. As a mother it’s important that you encourage in letting the child think and reason on his own without your help.

How to encourage questioning skills in kids?

#1 Play Time:

There’s no better way to learn than play and learn. When you make the learning process fun through toys, puzzles, colors, and play time, it becomes fun and kids tend to learn better. Let them name their toys.

#2 Read Books:

I have been reading fairy tales and other books to my son since he was an infant. Picture books and stories enhances their curiosity. When you ask questions about the story or what they see on the page can often lead to interesting answers. Books will allow your child to think, and thereby to question.

#3 Allow them to make mistakes:

‘Every mistake you make is progress’. Allow the trial and errors instead of telling that ‘you have to do it.’  I allow my kid to make mistakes and then learn from it. He fell down from a stair once and got hurt because he was rushing. I explained that he needs to be careful while climbing stairs. Post that incident – he always remembers to climb one step at a time and hold the railing.

#4 Talk and Sing:

Songs are great for teaching how to remember. You can sing songs, rhymes, or even make up some tune.

#5 Ask Questions:

Kids learn by examples. What they see, they do. Ask questions to him in his way. Show him fruits and ask their names, ask him colors, cartoon characters, vehicle names or whatever the child gets to see around. When you ask questions they get encouraged to ask you questions too.

#6 Don’t reject their questions:

Children can ask repetitive questions or even silly ones. Don’t get worked up on that. It might sound silly to you, but it’s the beginning of their learning journey. The more they ask questions the better they continue to expand their knowledge. If you ask him to stop it might lead to lower confidence and reclusiveness.

So don’t get tired, encourage questioning skills in kids for better cognitive development. After all, you as a mum only want the best for your kid.

Flawed Fairy Tales – The fairy tales our children read or watch actually have depressing themes – abandonment, death, murder, gender stereotypes. Are you comfortable letting your child read or watch them?

I have been reading stories to my son since he was an infant. That was a time when he loved looking at the colourful pages. Now he is going to be three in a month’s time and enjoys our bedtime story sessions. I keep collecting new books for his tiny library. Now he’s at a stage where he likes stories about kings, animals, magicians and et all. That’s when the mom in me thought, why not introduce the moral stories and fairy tales to Mr B.

And that’s when I started re-visiting the Fairy Tales that I have grown up on. I still remember having board book of Goldilocks, Peter Pan, Hansel and Gretel which I loved reading as a kid. I had my own collection of Ladybird books which I have passed on to my son. But now when I read these books, as a mom – I am not okay with it. I am not comfortable reading these flawed fairy tales.

Flawed Fairy Tales

 #1 Hansel and Gretel

We all have read Hansel and Gretel as a kid, haven’t we? The hapless brother and sister who are left in the forest by their father, because the step-mom wishes for so. They manage to get back following the trail of stones. They are left back again and gets kidnapped by the witch.

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I have read that book to my son a few times. We have this thing in our house where we can ask as many questions as we want. I encourage my son to ask questions and interact when I am reading to him. But what do I answer when a two and half-year-old exclaims “bad mommy” or ask “why did daddy put them in the jungle”? Do I really want him to grow up with the concept of bad mommies, or spineless dads? No, I am not comfortable with such flawed fairy tales.

Behind all the glitz of gingerbread house and candies, there’s a witch trying to eat a kid. How am I supposed to explain to a toddler – you should be fearful of people – specially at this age. I don’t want him to grow with the concept of fear.

#2 Jack and the Bean Stalk

Whenever I go shopping for my son, I pick up a story book for him, the latest being Jack and the Bean Stalk. It’s a story about how Jack gets some magic seeds and an enormous bean stalk grows out of them. He can reach a giant’s house up in the cloud. The giant’s wife gives him food, but he ends up taking (stealing) a bag of treasure. Next time around he steals the hen that lays a golden egg. When the Giant catches hold of him, Jack (who’s a little boy) chops off the bean stalk, the giant falls crashing down and dies. If all this was not enough, Jack then lives with his mother, ‘happily ever after’ being rich!

I had not read this story earlier, nor did I read it while buying the book – I sometimes wish why didn’t I! What are we teaching our children – IS IT ABSOLUTELY OK TO STEAL? Is it okay to kill someone when you are in trouble and live happily with SOMEONE ELSE’S MONEY?

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Is that what we are teaching our kids? Is that what we want them to grow up thinking – it’s no big deal to live off someone’s money and not work hard for it?

As a mum, I don’t want my son to grow up with such trash thoughts or values. If a kid does anything remotely similar to Jack, the mum should be worried. Very worried.

#3 Snow White, Cinderella, Rapunzel – The Step Mom Brigade

Everyone knows these stories, as a kid I had my mum read them to me. In all these stories there are two things that are common – the step mom is always evil and it’s only and ONLY your physical beauty that is of importance. Nothing else matters. You always need to wait for your prince charming to come and rescue you from your misery.

But why? Why enforce such gender stereotypes on such young and impressionable minds? Why can’t anything else be of importance in a girl? Why do girls need to feel helpless? Why girls need to grow up thinking they have to be beautiful like Barbie or else no guy is going to ask her out on a date! It comes down to that only, isn’t it? ABSOLUTELY NO SELF-WORTH?? 

And why does a young boy need to feel he HAS TO BE handsome, brave, powerful and ALWAYS in search of a woman who is beautiful – and no other attributes are necessary.

The story of Cinderella needs to be thrown out of the window – girls don’t need such damsel in distress theories, not in this age.

#4 Arabian Nights

I was so tired of fishing out content, I ended up picking up Arabian nights for him. The book starts with a description of what the Arabian Nights is all about. How a queen was unfaithful towards the king and he decided to marry a girl every day and kill her the next day.

When a three-year old asks “what’s unfaithful”, “why is queen unfaithful” you seriously don’t know whether you want to answer that. Does a three-year old need to know about complexities of relationships? NO, not yet.

Why are we Enforcing Archaic Gender Stereotypes even in 2018?

Storytelling, reading is a great habit to inculcate in young children. My son now loves his story sessions and doesn’t want to nap without them. Me, as a mum, have to really fish out the kind of stories I want to read to him. But when I ordered a collection of books for him, it invariably came along with the likes of Cinderella and Beauty and the Beast!

Do we really need these kinds of fairy tales in 2018? Do we still need to enforce such pre historic, irrelevant ideas on young tender minds? Aren’t we feeding our boys wrong ideas that you HAVE to seek the most beautiful girl? And have her any which way (I am referring to Beauty and the Beast). I am not willing to do that.

Maybe we should all start following the Scandinavian Schools – they actually did away with the flawed fairy tales!

Some of the moral stories and fables of the Panchatantra still makes sense – because they do teach values – they were written around 300 BCE but still are worth.

What am I trying to do as a mom?

Yes, I am not comfortable in feeding such trash ideology to my son. I don’t want him to grow up thinking your sole purpose of life is to find a beautiful girl and get married! If I had a daughter, I wouldn’t want her to develop insecurity complex from such antediluvian gender typecasts.

While I do filter the content that I want to read and pick up only those books that are free of such labels, I am also trying to build up stories on the daily situations that we are facing. I try making up stories about food (he hates food, I have to glorify food every minute of the day), stories about sharing food, sharing toys.

I guess, I need to keep doing that as he grows – pick up situations from his daily routine and build stories that makes sense, instead of just reading out stories from the books! Yes, if I can write so many fictions, I bloody well make up good stories for my little man. What do you do, mums? How do you make sure your tiny ones are getting to know relevant ideologies? Let me know what do you think about flawed fairy tales.