Don’t be an obsessive mom, even kids need their freedom. These tips on How not to be an Obsessive mom will help you overcome your controlling and obsessive nature when I come to kids.

Are you an obsessive mom? Are you addicted to your child? Especially if you are a first-time mom. This needs to stop – for your own good and the child’s well-being.

When I became a mom, I swore to myself I am going to do everything to protect him, keeping him away from every minute thing – dust, germs, people! I didn’t take him out of the house for the first three months. I was having trouble breastfeeding him and I was constantly reading on Google everything possible about kids, infants, motherhood, even the tiniest things.

Then one day I just sat down and looked at myself like having a camera on me and recording my state. I was getting overwhelmed – was scared how am I going to bring him up properly. As if no one ever had a child! This happened when he was about two months old.

From then I have stopped Googling every tiny thing. I didn’t want to become some Momzilla!! The best thing you can do is stop obsessing about your child all the time!

“Let a kid, be a kid”

Baby proof your home? Okay – but don’t go to the extent of baby proofing the floor. I had placed mattresses and pillow on the sides of the beds on the floor to the take the impact if he rolls down the bed!

I didn’t have a nanny for him mostly because I always have doubts about hygiene issues of people. Without quite realizing that one day this kid will grow up and go to school and use public restrooms!

So take cue from me, don’t get obsessive. If I can stop being an obsessive mom and turn into a chill mom – so can you.

Here are 8 tips on how not to be an obsessive mom

#1 No need to sanitize all toys all the time

Well, this isn’t true for the current COVID-19 situation, probably you should sanitize everything now. But don’t get so obsessive about germs and hygiene that you are cleaning and sanitizing the toys every time your child plays with it.

If your baby is an infant – you must sanitize (clean with hot water) all kinds of toys that he can be putting in his mouth – pacifiers, chewable toys, those toy keys etc.

If you are a mom of a toddler – please go easy with sanitizing every inch of the room.

#2 Let the child enjoy his freedom

Don’t get scared if your child is crawling for the first time or trying to climb up the TV table. Of course, take care that the TV is secured and in no way can fall on the child but let him explore. If you tr to stop this exploring phase, they will find another way to explore. This is a natural phase, nature inquisitiveness in children and can’t be stopped.

#3 Teach yourself to be okay with the mess

When you have a toddler in the home, there will be mess – deal with it. No need to shift gear to clean the house all the time. If you have toys on the floor in your kid’s room it’s okay.

Don’t stop a child from playing with sands and rocks, water. Toddlers love sensory play. Let them explore, let their outfits get messy at times.

#4 Don’t be those Pageant moms

If you wanted to be a beauty queen, but couldn’t – don’t force your child! Your child doesn’t need to participate and win every academic competition, every sport competition, every art or dance competition. Let them be kids. Let them explore and find their interest. Don’t rob them off their innocence.

There will be enough competition in life, they don’t have to start the rat race at 2 or 3!

Some moms take this to the next level. This pageant mom dressing her daughter as Julia Robert’s call girl character from Pretty Woman is upsetting and feels like a psychological problem to me.

#5 No need to brag about your child at every social gathering

For you,  your child is best. Okay. It doesn’t need to be repeated like a record at every social gathering, in front of every other mom. All kids are special. Let them enjoy their childhood. They are not modes of competition between moms!

“Did I tell you my son won so and so?”

“Did I tell you my daughter has read up all kinds of books at 3?”
“Did I tell you, my son can speak French, German, English, Finnish at 4?”

PLEASE STOP

#6 Don’t get carried away with “what others will think”

Most Indian parents have this statement while parenting their children “log kya kahenge” (what will people think). I mean who even cares? People will say whatever – how does that matter to you or your child. So if your teenage son wants to do a summer internship – its good – let him do it!

It is your child that matters not who admired him and said good/bad about him that matters. 

#7 Don’t be a controlling mom

Some moms are way too controlling and obsessive. So much so that it scares the child every time they think of their parents. Is that what you want your child to think of you as they grow up? Let them choose, let them voice their opinions, consider them individuals. Children are not puppets.

#8 Don’t be a bribing mom

“Do this I will give you that”. This is the worst way of parenting. Don’t be the bribing mom. You are teaching your child bribing, demanding is good!

No it is not.

I hope these tips on How not to be an Obsessive mom will help you overcome your challenges. If these can help me, it can help you too.

I am sharing Parenting hacks for Millennial Moms on this Season of A to Z Challenge. Adding the post links as I post them.
A – Amazing Moms
B-Boys -What Boys Need from their moms
C –  How to be a calm mom
D – Discipline kids without yelling
E – Raising Emotionally healthy Kids
F – French Parenting Tips
G – Gentle Parenting
I – Indian values to instill in your child
J – Jar of Positivity 
K – Know your kids through fun questions
L – Life Hacks & Parenting Tips for moms
M – Mom self-care routine that is quick
N – Newborn hacks for New moms

Until next time.

Cheers.

Tina