What is Gentle Parenting and how does it work?

Want to practice Gentle Parenting? Here are few tips on how Gentle Parenting works.

How were you disciplined at home when you were a child? I am sure it involved punishments, scolding – that is normal Indian parenting. Right? I got some nice smacks from my mom too (which she has forgotten, but I remember). My dad was way more gentle. But I did know my boundaries and rarely dared to cross it.

Are we to blame our parents? Not quite, because that is the kind of parenting they were accustomed to.

But dominant parenting does more harm than good. See how I told you above, I remember all the incidents, perhaps my mom doesn’t.

Let’s figure out what Gentle Parenting is – it is widely accepted today in the west and is a must-know for millennial moms.

What is Gentle Parenting?

Gentle Parenting is a new style of parenting that involves – understanding, communication and connection with the child.  

Instead of bribing, rewards, punishments Gentle Parenting involves – communicating with the child and education over punishment.

Gentle parenting is peaceful and positive.

Do I practice Gentle Parenting?

Yes, I do. I practice Gentle parenting because I see it as a psychologically positive way. Our conversations are not commands they are two-way conversations that include things like:-

“Would you like to go to the toilet and finish your morning routine, before joining us for breakfast?” Instead of “Wake up. Finish your morning routine fast.  Brush your teeth properly. Come for breakfast right now.”

A partnership with your child is a much better idea.

How to practice Gentle Parenting? How does Gentle Parenting Work?

#1 Respect

One of the key rules of French Parenting is to consider your child as an individual, as another adult human. Take stock of this. When you bring respect in a relationship, it works smoother.

Instead of commanding a child, telling a child what to do – give choices. Teach them how to choose between good and bad. Don’t demand respect because you are parents. Earn that respect through your words and actions.

#2 Adjust your Expectations

These days’ parents have loads of expectations from their children. They have to excel in everything right from age 3! Please take a break and adjust your expectations according to your child’s age and development. If you are trying to teach non-age-appropriate things and if they are not following it – it is not the child’s fault! Realize that and accept that.

For example: If you want your child to be fully toilet trained by two years of his age, you are asking too much of from the child! A child should be toilet trained by age 3 because by that time they learn impulse control.

#3 Understanding

Understand your child’s behavior and understand your own behavior. One thing that parents hardly take care of is their own behavior. Kids will learn what they’ll see. Parents need to be the role model, not a person of whom the child should be scared of.

For example: When you find a child throwing a temper tantrum (mostly the twos and threes), instead of raising your voice and shouting to control it, understand what is triggering it. Don’t lose your cool and deal with it calmly. When a child sees you calm and composed, they are more likely to get over it.

The question is – you want the child to learn to shout and yelling or being calm and problem-solving?

#4 Practice Empathy

It is possible to discipline a child without yelling. Empathize with your child, like how you want anyone to empathize with you. Listen to their queries, check what is triggering a tantrum.  The best thing you can do is – put yourself in your child’s shoes! Try to think what’s going on in his mind, what is making him scared.

Let your child voice his emotions. Sometimes crying is okay. There’s no such thing that boys shouldn’t cry. Keep yourself approachable for the child.

Now you must be thinking Gentle parenting is all lenient – you give the child what he wants, you are okay with the chid being unruly, not finishing his food etc.

NO.

Gentle Parenting, in fact, does not mean permissive parenting.

You are not raising spoilt brats. You are seeking solutions, you are seeking a partnership. Gentle parenting has enough boundaries and family rules that you set with your child – but you set that in a manner that they understand.

What do you think of Gentle Parenting? Did you know how gentle parenting works? Have you tried it in your parenting journey? Let me know.

I am sharing Parenting hacks for Millennial Moms on this Season of A to Z Challenge. Adding the post links as I post them.
A – Amazing Moms
B-Boys -What Boys Need from their moms
C –  How to be a calm mom
D – Discipline kids without yelling
E – Raising Emotionally healthy Kids
F – French Parenting Tips

Until next time.

Cheers.

Xoxo

Tina.