6 Best tips for becoming a calm mom – Secret to being a calm mom

Are you the hyper mom or the calm mom?

Let’s see how is your day in your house hold on a regular work day?

You wake up, get ready for work, get breakfast ready. Then you go to wake your child up. He doesn’t want to wake up. He’ll be late for school, you’ll be late for work.

You rush him for his morning routine. By the time you are getting him ready, the toast is burning.

The pre-schooler is asking deep worldly questions at wrong times, a toddler is being clingy. The husband is asking lame questions and you are getting late!

Morning rush hours are bad and you want to shout out at the wall and let it all go out! BREATHE. This is familiar in almost every household, isn’t it?

But I’ll tell you the secret to being a calm mom is PRACTICE. You are not going to be a calm mom overnight!

Have I always been a Calm mom?

No. I still remember my son was just a year old and he used to scream sometimes – without any reason. That sent me first in panic mode, then in a fierce irritable mood. I was finding motherhood hard and trying my patience. Then I learned to be a calm mom.

One fine day I decided I don’t want to yell at my child who can’t even speak! I was responsible for my actions no one else. So I corrected myself. How I’ll tell you.

6 Best tips for becoming a calm mom – My Secret to being a calm mom

#1 Own your feelings

You are the adult, you are the matured human. Your feelings, moods can be diverse in a single day. It doesn’t mean you can scapegoat a child. Yes, I am using the word scapegoat because I realized I was yelling at a 1-year-old and he couldn’t even talk back! Maybe because the child was not talking back, I thought this was easier.

Really bad of me. But that realization was important.

I didn’t want to be this yelling, shouting momzilla.

I started owning my feelings. My son wasn’t making me frustrated! I was getting frustrated because I was worked up and couldn’t concentrate. That’s my shortcoming. Not his.

#2 Get away from triggers

Find out what triggers anger in you. Get away from these triggers. Does a messy house make you angry? Deal with it – a house with a toddler will not look like the ones from glossy magazines. And it’s okay. Make a simple cleaning routine so that it doesn’t trigger anxiety or anger in you.

#3 Practice Self Care

All moms have one complaint – “I don’t have any time for myself”. Make time for yourself – even if its 30 mins a day when your child naps. Don’t put your need on hold. You will be fighting with calm and peace within yourself and you will end up snapping! Self Care is important.

Try these things

1. Sleep well
2. Take breaks from social media and utilize that time on yourself
3. Eat healthy snacks, fruits
4. Meditate
5. Extra time at the shower
6. Get a foot massage or a head massage
7. Read or write
8. Stay hydrated

#4 Ask for Help

It’s tough bringing up a child, and asking for help from your spouse or family is okay. Utilize time well, let the dad handle the child for a few hours when you take your time out. Take some pressure off your shoulders. Yes, get the dad working to become a calm mom.

#5 Don’t take it personally

Your child probably loves you the most in this world. Little kids love their moms unconditionally. Their tantrums or meltdowns might feel they are being unruly but they are part and parcel of growing up.

But realize this, kids are not conspiring against you. Their tantrum doesn’t have to become YOUR Tantrum! My son so far has had very fewer tantrums (thanking my stars). I neither am harsh with him or yell at him. I have stopped yelling at him after the first two times I did it and felt terrible about it.

#6 Avoid Punishing

The WORST thing a mom can do in these kinds of situations is to punish your child while you’re angry and fuming. It will scare them and then turn them negative about you.

Can you function properly when you are angry – NO

So step away and calm down first.

Check the situation, think about what you should be doing. Keep your emotions in control and think of yourself as the calm mom.

A lot depends on how you perceive yourself. When you picturise yourself as the calm mom, it helps you to become one. I hope these best tips for becoming a calm mom will help you in your parenting journey.

I am sharing Parenting hacks for Millennial Moms on this Season of A to Z Challenge. Adding the post links as I post them.
A – Amazing Moms
B-Boys -What Boys Need from their moms

Until next time.

Cheers.

Xoxo

Tina.