trust

Trust is a virtue according to me. If you can’t get someone to trust you then something is wrong somewhere. I try to give the benefit of doubt to people and trust them if they tell me something.  But I am not sure how right I am being in doing so.

The person in question this time is my house help. She has three sons, the youngest being 6 year old. She had once asked me for some money in advance citing children’s school fee, admission in new academic year etc etc etc.

She had told me, she works very hard so that her sons go to good school and I was hugely impressed with her commitment to education. According to her she sends her sons to an English medium school in my locality and children from our complex also go there. This again impressed me and I thought she was trying her best to give good education.

I always helped her financially whenever she asked for advance. She once asked for an old backpack, which I didn’t have that time. Upon asking she had said she required that for her son because his school bag was torn and they didn’t want to buy a new one.

I went ahead and bought a Doremon schoolbag for the little one and also one for his elder brother, because she said the middle one will feel jealous is he younger one uses a new bag!

Now the said maid is sick and has given me a replacement – who is her sister in law. I try to avoid all these maid gossips yet the things I got to know from this lady are quite startling. According to this sister in law – the maid had got the younger two sons in a school last year (she wasn’t even employed then at my place) but then didn’t continue their schooling, not even at the local government school. In the name of education and school fees, she has been collecting money from all households where she works for other expenses, including shopping for clothes and jewellery!

My tryst with maids have been bad. Read how I caught a maid for theft at my place.

This is something  that made me upset. I still don’t know who to trust – the maid or the sis-in-law. But I feel cheated  – not just with the money and help but I feel cheated of trust I had in her. I can’t do anything about it – rather I don’t want to do anything about it. Only thing I want to do is not lend a ear to all these pleas by the maids. Though only today I bought a new phone and handed over to this replacement sis-in-law because her phone broke and I don’t have a spare one that I can give her. I also ensured I told her that the money will be deducted from her salary. No more being lenient!

Read how another maid tried to take me for a ride here

Seriously I sometimes think – why people take you for granted and try to dupe you when you are being good to them. Is being good a bad thing or a passé already? Do you face such situations where you find it is difficult to trust people you work with? Let me know.

Linking this post to #MondayMusings at Everyday Gyan. Also linking to 1000 Voices for Compassion and Mackenzie Glanville’s post and Mel Ford’s#MicroblogMondays.

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I am taking part in the Ultimate Blogging Challenge, 31 Days of Marathon Blogging with Daily Chatter. Follow me on Twitter & Instagram to stay updated with #TinaWrites and #TinasBongConnection

tinabasu

17 Comments on Can you trust someone anymore?

  1. Nabanita
    October 17, 2016 at 7:12 pm (2 months ago)

    This is the reason I don’t feel like believing these maids and household helps. I just can’t after seeing how greedy they become. My husband is a softie when it comes to these things and we have often seen how that ends in us being duped of money. But as you saidit’s more about the trust and that is what hurts
    Nabanita recently posted…How The #TrumpVsClinton Debate Is Plain Old #MisogynyMy Profile

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  2. Mayuri Nidigallu
    October 18, 2016 at 12:11 pm (2 months ago)

    I don’t understand why maids, or anyone else, do this. When you’re going out of your way to help them. It’s so sad, really, how being let down by the wrong people stops us from trusting the right ones too!

    Reply
    • tinabasu
      October 18, 2016 at 12:12 pm (2 months ago)

      true, I think being good to people is no more good in life!

      Reply
  3. Rohan Kachalia (@rohank01)
    October 18, 2016 at 12:39 pm (2 months ago)

    The maids/ house help are one such people whom we feel our own at one time and at another feels like a complete stranger. This is the story of an every household. But as you said, Trust gets murdered so very easily.
    Rohan Kachalia (@rohank01) recently posted…Happily Ever After – 55 FictionMy Profile

    Reply
    • tinabasu
      October 18, 2016 at 12:40 pm (2 months ago)

      very true Rohan, I am so hurt that some one lied about her child’s education to get money for something else. I need to think several times before trusting any maid now!

      Reply
  4. Amrita Basu
    October 18, 2016 at 2:11 pm (2 months ago)

    I only give moderate amount as advance and always cut it from salary gradually.Don’t expect too much from them because their situation in life makes them detest anyone better off than them.You just have t do that much charity which you can afford and expect Nothing in return.

    Reply
  5. SHALINI BAISIWALA
    October 18, 2016 at 5:14 pm (2 months ago)

    Oh Tina- welcome to my world. I used to be a sucker for their sob stories (still al at times) but they all toegther taught me a lesson. I was robbed by one steadily over a period of one year when I was going through an extremely difficult time in life; another one threw the clothes I gave her saying “these are old and a waste for you anyways. Pls get me new ones”….
    I have worn off helping them as their lies are just unending and too creative for me to comprehend.I do try to be kind and do nice things for them when they work for me, but no money and no giving old stuff or new to them. Just their salary and thats it. Big hug to you girl…
    SHALINI BAISIWALA recently posted…#FridayFiction: The Great Switcheroo – part 2My Profile

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  6. Dipannita (womanzie)
    October 18, 2016 at 5:49 pm (2 months ago)

    It is a very common situation that my mother and mother-in-law also face. these maids lie and take money in advance and some have gone too extent to even not to turn up the next day for work. It is ridiculous!

    Reply
    • tinabasu
      October 18, 2016 at 5:58 pm (2 months ago)

      seriously, i feel cheated when these people do like these

      Reply
  7. Manisha Garg
    October 18, 2016 at 11:42 pm (2 months ago)

    Seriously people betray trust. Its stresses us and personally it hurts. Being good is not good but then you cant change yourself to.

    Reply
  8. Vasantha Vivek
    October 19, 2016 at 2:24 pm (2 months ago)

    Tina, just now I paid the Diwali Bonus and new sarees for my two maids. Full salary has to be paid as Diwali bonus. And I used to give them advances, old clothes, old stuffs and many more. Yet I can not escape from being the victim of cheating. So we should be double cautious about our maids and help.
    Vasantha Vivek recently posted…This MOM’s LifeMy Profile

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  9. Hemangini
    October 19, 2016 at 10:01 pm (2 months ago)

    It’s difficult to trust people now because we have been put through so much by the time we are even 20 or say more experienced 30… But still, we got to give chances.. My latest post talks about the same thing.
    I find it really hurtful that violating other’s trust is something people think they are privileged to do.. :/

    Reply
  10. Deepa
    October 20, 2016 at 8:21 pm (1 month ago)

    Agree with you Tina..One can decide who to trust and who not to trust anymore! People take you for ride when you are being helpful , so its better to be careful these days!
    Deepa recently posted…By: DeepagandhiMy Profile

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  11. Subha Rajagopal
    October 20, 2016 at 9:10 pm (1 month ago)

    Maids are people we cant do without.Trust them we must.But we still need to be careful.Related post on Indian Domestic Help-http://myriadflavoursoflife.blogspot.in/2016/07/indian-domestic-help.html
    Subha Rajagopal recently posted…The Coffee MugMy Profile

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  12. Mayura Amarkant
    October 21, 2016 at 1:28 am (1 month ago)

    My dad says: Vishwasghaat is something that takes place when you trust. And when you trust you let your guard down. Trust anyway because but everyone is the same.

    Reply
  13. Mackenzie Glanville
    October 22, 2016 at 9:15 am (1 month ago)

    I think that it is beautiful to see the good in the world and want to trust, we want to trust because we want to believe that everyone is as nice and honest as we are, but it is sad that not everyone has those values. I am guessing that you seem wealthy to them and so they think what they are doing won’t really affect you, I am are they think you can afford to loose these things, and that is what they tell themselves because if they were honest with themselves they would feel too bad to do it. It is wrong what they are doing and sad that it has left you confused and not knowing who to believe in. Just know you are a beautiful, kind person and always look after yourself as number one xx #mg

    Reply

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